05:30- Huh? What? That beeping noise…what is it? Ohfercryinoutloud, it can’t be the alarm already, I’ve only been in bed five minutes! Ughhhhh, I frickin’ hate mornings.
05:35- Yes, I know I said I was going to exercise before leaving for work this morning, but that was at 10pm, with a glass of ice-cold vodka in my hand. Must have been mad.
05:50- I’m turning into a prune. Must get out of the shower. In a minute.
06:10- Look dog, I’m freezin’ my arse off here. Will you just pee already?
06:20- (Singing) “On the road again” Of all the inventions modern man has come up with, I’d say heated car seats rank right up at the top. Coffee’s pretty darn good too. That said, I’d still rather be back in bed. At least until the sun comes up.
07:30- Yanno, it’s all very well parking on the other side of the river in order to save having to pay, and in the summer the ten minute walk is really quite delightful. But on a bitter winter’s morning it’s amazing how exposed this stretch across the park really is. It’s not often I actually look forward to arriving in the office.
07:55- You can tell it’s going to be a rough day at the office when you’ve handled five phone calls before making it to the bathroom. More coffee, that’s the answer.
10:15- If there really is a hell, I’ll bet it involves conference calls. 10,000 lost souls sitting in eternal torment while two of them repeat the same information over and over again. Wonder what’s happening to my e-mail in-box right now. Dang, I’ve got so much to do; I don’t have time for this. What? My turn to speak? No, I don’t have an update. No, I don’t know when they’ll have it completed. Yes, I’ll follow up. Hmm, did that sound frustrated? I think I sounded frustrated. Should probably watch that.
11:55- Lady, you’re pushing my buttons today. It really isn’t that complicated – your problem is that you haven’t attended any of the training classes and when I try to explain it to you, you just don’t listen. That and you have the IQ of a throw cushion. How do you manage to dress yourself? OK, let’s go over it one more time.
12:45- I need to eat. I need to eat. I need to eat.
13:55- I need to eat. I need to eat. I need to eat.
14:15- Note to self: When mixing up tuna and salad dressing for sandwiches, it’s a good idea to prevent the mixture from being too moist. Soggy bread with the filling falling out doesn’t an appetizing lunch make.
14:59- Say what?
15:01- OK, this isn’t looking good. Surely not.
15:03- Oh surely…NOT! They could NOT have been so stupid as to roll out the product without making sure this feature auto-updated. Please, please, please, please, please don’t tell me I’m going to have to go in and enter all this manually! I don’t have to do this manually do I? Tell me I don’t have to do this manually. I do have to do this manually. Oh.
15:05- Hi, it’s me. You’d best go ahead and have dinner without me. I’m going to be here late tonight. I don’t know, very late. I’ll call you in a bit. Because it’s my job that’s why.
15:45- I swear, if this laptop freezes up on me one more time, it’s going straight out the window. This is going to take forever.
17:35- I’m telling you – one more freeze up and it’s a fast trip to the ground floor for you my little electronic friend.
17:58- Yep, you deserve a medal for staying an hour late. You must be exhausted poor lamb. But considering you didn’t come in ’till 9:30, I’ll hold off on the rose petals at your feet for the moment, OK? See you tomorrow.
18:25- I wonder how long a human can live on vending machine food. And why is it, the orange juice is always the first one to run out? Ooh look, Twix.
19:20- Crap look at the time, and I’ve barely scratched the surface. There must be a more efficient way to do this. Hmm, how about if I create a spreadsheet and then…
19:55- Well that was a colossal waste of time. OK, back to doing it the original way. Music, that’s what I need. Music feeds the soul. Let’s see what music I can find.
20:20- Have I really just spent the last hour getting no further forward with this? OK, come on now, focus. Grind it out.
22:10- Hi, it’s me. Yep, looks like I’m going to be here all night. I’m not sure, probably 4 or 5-ish. OK, I’ll call you when I pull into the driveway so you can unlock the deadbolt. Sleep well.
12:05- Whoa, where did the time go? Making progress though, if I can keep going at this pace, I should be done by about…Friday. Dang, that’s depressing.
01:25- Consider the Twix my friends. Shortcake, caramel, all coated in a layer of milk chocolate. And just when you get done…there’s another one. Perfection in confectionary. Oh man, I’m tired. Wonder if I could get an hour’s shut-eye if I laid on the floor. No, no – push on, push on. The sooner this is done, the sooner you’ll get home. But oh dearie me, is it ever going to be over?
02:45- Feeling a little fuzzy round the edges now. Must focus on the task at hancze@gh,,,
04:15- OK, that’s it – I’ve had enough. Time to head home. Just send out a few e-mails so everyone can see the time stamp and notice how virtuous I am.
04:30- It’s an odd feeling walking through a totally deserted city. Nobody, but nobody is about. OK, well now that car’s just gone and spoiled it. But apart from that, there’s nobody about.
04:45- Has the steering wheel always been so heavy? Have I always lived so far away? Traffic’s pretty busy going the other way though. Lot of people must start work early. Poor bastards.
05:15- Honey, I’m home!
05:25- Oh it’s so nice to snuggle into warm sheets ready for a good night’s sleep. But first though, I need to set the alarm.
Got to get up for work in the morning.
Tag: Work
Pray for me, I drive 285
First published: January 20, 2004
Said a popular bumper sticker around these parts when we moved in. The reason behind these pleas for divine intervention, was the love-hate relationship many locals have with the picturesque, but overly trafficked and at times, deadly stretch of road known as Colorado State Highway 285, which leads southwest from Denver into the southern parts of the Rocky Mountains, before ultimately making its way down into New Mexico.
There was a time, not so very long ago, when SH285 was nothing more than a meandering mountain trail and old-timers tell how it used to take the best part of a day to drive down into the city for supplies. Not surprisingly, they only made the trip once a month or so. Nowadays, it’s possible to do the same journey in under an hour, a fact, which has encouraged many people to, like us, make their homes in the foothills while making their living in the metropolis of Denver. In fact, the 50 miles of SH285 between Denver and Bailey, the route on which I commute daily, now serves one of the fastest growing commuter belts in the country.
According the 2000 Census figures, Park County where our home is situated, experienced the nation’s 5th fastest growth during the 1990s. Park County residents can also lay claim to the nation’s 5th longest average commute (44.8 minutes). I’m guessing these people work on the west side of Denver because I make my way to the south east of town each morning and would love to talk of a commute so short.
Sitting in a car has never been my idea of fun. Oh sure, like most people, I’ve daydreamed of roaring around the mountain roads of Europe in an open topped, sports car, with a supermodel in the passenger seat. However, I’m also well aware that for most of the time, those roads are choked with tour buses and nose to tail traffic, much the same as the roads here. I spend 2-3 hours a day driving to and from work, but the bulk of that doesn’t involve tearing up the highway, but crawling along at a snail’s pace, beside everyone else.
I consider commuting to be time essentially stolen from me. I’m not earning money, I’m not practicing a hobby, I’m certainly not getting fit – I’m just, sitting there. Audio books help pass the time and if I listen to “intellectual” books I can even tell myself I’m improving my mind, but it doesn’t alter the fact; I spend a large part of my day wishing I was doing something else.
When we first moved here, I worked in downtown Denver, a drive shorter than my current one by only by about 3 or 4 miles. However, I could usually complete the journey in a good 20 minutes less. Curiously, the traffic into the centre of the city moved faster than that heading into the sprawling office park where I work now. However, driving home that summer was a whole new adventure due to the fact the Colorado Department of Transportation was engaged in the painfully slow act of widening large stretches of SH285. You know, to accommodate all these people who like us, were in the process of moving in.
To make matters worse, my little car, which had served me well on the pancake flat, ruler straight roads of Phoenix rebelled when I asked it, not only to pull me up a twisting turning gradient, climbing from 5,250 to 9,000 feet; but to do a large part of it in stop and go, low gear mode. To be blunt, it didn’t like it and expressed its displeasure by overheating every few days and leaving me stranded by the roadside for 30 minutes or so while the radiator bubbled and fizzed. If the summer heat was a problem, the ice and snow of winter made it throw up its hands in horror. OK, it’s a car; it didn’t have hands but work with me here.
I moved to Colorado in April and even though winter was almost done, we still had a few heavy snowstorms and the car just didn’t know what to do. As it happened, the very first snow we had, 3 days after moving in, left me completely stranded. The roads were clear but I was unable to get out of our driveway. That didn’t tend to happen in Phoenix. Another winter was fast approaching and we knew the car would be unable to continue the daily commute once the bad weather really kicked in. So, we shopped around and eventually cleaned out the remains of our savings account by investing in a 15-year old Toyota with 4-wheel drive, big chunky tires and battle scars. Now this is a vehicle for the mountains. His name is Angus, by the way.
I’ll admit, I got a bit of a disappointment the first time I drove in snow when I found my wheels mysteriously spinning and Angus slipping all over the road. After all, the 2-wheel car had handled the snow better than this! A lesson I learned that day was to check that both the front hubs were turned to 4-wheel drive, not just one. I’m not sure if there’s a term for what I had; 3-wheel drive doesn’t sound right, but for the record, it’s nowhere near as good as 4-wheel, or even 2-wheel drive.
We looked for a car with a stick shift, working on the theory that they would be more reliable than an automatic of a similar age. That certainly made economic sense, but we didn’t allow for the fact that clutches installed in the late ‘80s require a lot more effort to pump than their modern equivalents. What’s the problem there? I hear you ask. Well, as I slide, kicking and screaming, into old fartdom, one of the symptoms I’m experiencing is an arthritis sort of discomfort in my left knee. My clutch knee. Regular shifting when changing gear isn’t a problem, it’s the constant up and down motion required to move along in heavy traffic. Oh, I don’t like heavy traffic at all.
There will come a time when I will figure out a way to live up in the mountains without having to commute down into Denver on a daily basis. As yet, I don’t have a clear idea as to how I’m going to do this, but winning the lottery will probably be involved somehow. In the meantime, “Pray for me, I drive 285”.
The Gunsmoke Diaries 